Ayn's Newsletter - Greetings From England And The Wisdom Of Making Amends
Greetings from London, England! The first time I visited London I was twelve years old and I remember looking out of the window as the plane approached the runway at Heathrow. As we dropped below the clouds, I could see sweeping green fields, winding roads and grey roofed houses that seemed familiar. When we touched ground I felt that in some way I had returned home again. My lineage is predominantly British, so my ancestors who spoke me into being had known and loved this land. This is a concept that we rarely think about and one that is fascinating to explore. Our parents, grandparents, great-grandparents and so on live within us, whispering their wishes and desires. We can also feel their limitations and fears. It is our job to clear whatever prevents us from experiencing our true self. When we clear negative thoughts and patterns within ourselves not only do we free ourselves, we also liberate the generations that came before us and the generations waiting to be born!
I am quite joyfully staying in the hotel in Surrey where I married my first husband in 1989. Although he and I separated after five years, I was gifted with a beautiful daughter. Before committing to marriage, my current husband told me that he instinctively knew that I needed to go to the UK and make an amends with my ex-husband and his family. I was initially resistant to the idea, yet I also knew that it was important to release any story that prevented me from fully living and loving. After a brief struggle with the airlines, we booked the tickets. Interestingly enough the plane from London to Aberdeen had very few passengers. I noticed bodyguards and realized that we were on a royal flight in many ways indeed, since the royal William and his then finance Kate were also on the flight. My two children's names are William and Kathryn, which brought a smile to my lips. Clearly something special was occurring!
I had booked a hotel in the outskirts of Aberdeen, Scotland that we later discovered was haunted by a woman who had never forgiven her lover. I hope the events that took place helped her discover some peace. Working with energetics for twenty years has revealed many things to me, including the understanding that marriage is a precise agreement that takes place between two souls and we are held accountable to our word. When we marry and/or have a child with a person we take on the lineage of our partner as our own. The promise is that two people coming together may become one abler body, stronger and more creative than a single person. There is a certain protection that surrounds a committed partnership, which supports life, career and the creation of the next generation. When we divorce we tear the family and the energy that has held us. People need to be attuned in order to be happy together and sometimes there are reasons for couples to separate yet we need to create and end contracts with awareness. If two people are not aligned, then a new agreement can be formed in which they choose to part as friends. This information had not been clear to me when I was in my twenties, so an amends was indeed in store.
Making an amends requires both honesty and bravery. When relationships have been strained or difficult it is often very challenging to look someone in the eyes and say, "I'm sorry. I forgive you and release the stories of bitterness and pain. Please forgive and release me from any wrongs I have done to you. Let's let it go." Yet somehow I found the resolve inside myself to say these words to my ex-husband. What occurred was almost miraculous. What was said in private was between us, but what I will share is that I could actually sense the burden of my errors lifting off of me and the suffering from that earlier time dissolve. I returned home with much more space and joy in my heart, my daughter formed a deeper relationship with her father and my current husband, John Patrick Sullivan, formed a new agreement with me based on love and unfolding consciousness. What is more exciting than inquiring into the nature of existence with the one you love?
Making an amends is a powerful practice. It is a process of course correcting for when we forgive and are forgiven our hearts are set free and often our health, relationships and careers improve. Close your eyes and ask if there is someone you would like to forgive in this moment. An amends can be made in person, with a letter or simply with words as simple as: "Infinite Light, please help me forgive x. May x forgive me. May we all forgive each other and return to peace. Thank you."