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  • Ayn Cates Sullivan

Ayn's Newsletter - Kundalini Awakening


Traveling is so refreshing for the soul. We see fresh places with new eyes and begin to hear the words others say with greater awareness. What I have noticed on our journey through England is that people want connection, intimacy and spiritual wisdom above all else. Perhaps it is true everywhere in the world.

A friend recently asked what a kundalini activation feels like. After sharing I realized that many people were curious about spiritual activations, so I will share my experience here with the hope that it might inspire cosmic explorations in others too. After all, we are in the new time of light.

My first experience was in 1987, before most people had even heard of the topic (at least in Virginia where I was living). Kundalini is a libidinal force that runs like an electric current up the spine. The activation shatters the glass ceiling of the normal perception of self, which can be disorienting. It is the beginning of the spiritual journey and is often followed by many more mystical experiences. I have no idea what prompted it, but one night I was freezing cold and then I was filled with fire and then shot out of my body.

The kundalini activation feels like a fire, but what really struck me was the loss of self and the understanding that without the self-image my suffering vanished and the only thing left was bliss. In my case, the self-image reformed but never with as much of a hold because I knew who I took myself to be simply wasn't real.

The inquiry all spiritual seekers begin to ask is: "Who Am I?" This prompts a deep exploration of w ho is this "I" that we have previously thought to be the center of our universe! Who is this self that perceives, feels and often judges? Most people live in their first three centers, which have to do with survival, sexuality and social status. That's about it. The spiritual journey usually begins with some type of heart awakening, which can also come in the form of a death or betrayal of some description. There is something that takes place that makes us question ourselves, and the way we are living, deeply and irrevocably.

Our spiritual path is strengthened when we develop an attitude of humility, reverence and gratitude for all of life. We are not God, but we are part of a greater intelligence that loves us beyond belief. We are part of the Infinite Light and can live in alignment with all of life.

An activation is a blessing because it helps us wake up out of our misperceptions and limitations. It also comes at a cost, because we will never be the same again. The game is up because we realize there is no self to idealize. A spiritual awakening is humbling, because we understand that we are not what we took ourselves to be-- nothing yet part of everything that exists.

The personality program is like a robot that runs our lives until we wake up out of it, and even then often the hardware has just been upgraded a bit. If the robot isn't there then we just get to hang out in bliss, joy and brilliancy. When the body/mind program is not there what is often experienced is Love. God is neutral, loving, kind and wanting the best for everyone and all things. Kundalini is a little zap out of ordinary awareness, like taking a drug that never ends. True Nature is in service to all of life.

One of the reasons I developed the Awareness Essences was to support my own unfolding awakening and other people walking through it. You can read more about the colors on and contact me if you are interested in a private session:

Love and blessings,


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